Grumpy Old Men’s Climbing Club 2020

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• And, as in uffish thought he stood,
• The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
• Came whiffling through the tulgey wood
• And burbled as it came!

Not many Jabberwocks round here anymore but there's plenty of burbling going on.

Grumpy New Year to all.

An inauspicious start to the New Year I'm afraid.

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First, the not quite as bad news, Geoff Douglas crashed his ebike into the rear of a parked car and ended up through the rear windscreen. He was quite badly injured and suffered several fractured vertebrae in his neck. Geoff is currently in the Hallamshire hospital, Floor L and Sue says he would welcome visitors.

See Doug for the latest.

 

Mary Waters. Some very sad news, Mary was found dead at her home after her music group raised the alarm as she seemed uncontactable.

Mike writes: Dear friends,

Thank you all for your thoughts and words. Mary was so special to us all and I feel that I should add a bit more detail to Mary’s passing. Many of you might be getting this sad news for the first time.
Mary and I recently shared three perfect weeks in Spain and we were both on good form. In Leiva we managed four multi pitch routes each of which involved a 90 minutes approach up hill. A big deal for Mary but interspersed with shorter days, walking and swimming, we agreed that we must go back sometime.
We then moved north to Calpe, seeing old friends and over this period Mary was full of her usual energy when her only two ‘rest days’ involved cycling over a high pass and a relaxed day doing 4’s and 5’s with Dave Cobley. January 5th was to be our last day and even then Mary insisted on a swim when nearly dark.
It had become apparent that our friend Neil Foster was going to stay around a little longer so Mary encouraged me to extend my trip and having dropped Mary at the airport I returned. In her first week back Mary went to orchestra and her bike charity group but was feeling a bit under the weather and sensibly backed off climbing at the wall. In the second week Mary worsened but never wanted to worry people and since then so many of us have thought ‘if only I’d…..’
On Saturday January 18 Mary seemed to have picked up. She did a big shop at Tesco’s, visited a neighbour, cooked a good meal, and prepared her morning tea tray. At 8:30pm she sent her second message of the day and as usual ran a hot bath prior to an early night.
It appears that Mary passed away calmly in the bath but the actual cause is not yet certain and I should find out more, later this week from the Coroner’s Office.
I am so sad for the loss of such a bright light in our lives but know that I will find solace in the coming months from those who cared so much about my lovely wife.

Mike

Dear friends and family,

After a long wait from the coroner, who could only conclude that Mary died of pneumonia, I can now send you some details of the arrangements made for Mary’s funeral. There will be a quiet woodland burial at a small cemetery in Hope Derbyshire, attended only by the two families and a few very close friends. We will then move on to a venue close by where a larger group of friends and family can meet and celebrate the life of a remarkable person. Your tributes to Mary have been so supportive over this period and I would just like to thank you and I know that you will hold Mary in your hearts for many years to come. Mary made good relationships quickly and has kept in touch with all her friends since the age of nineteen. For that reason I have found it very difficult to cope with the numbers that might be involved in a celebration of Mary’s life. I have identified good friends in Mary’s various groups and they are going to help me contact a small representative group from each. I am so sorry to have to do this but in due course I will hope to see you all at other gatherings and share our happy memories.

Rather than accept floral tributes, my brother Richard has set up a ‘Just Giving’ fund which can be found by searching for Mary Waters on the Just Giving website. Many of you know that Mary suffered badly from ME for several years beginning around 1998 and we have been supporting research into this ever since. Mary's funeral was held at Woodland burial at Hope Cemetery, Bowden Lane just off Edale Road on Tuesday 18th of February and was for close friends and family.

Other friends and family, including many of the Grumpies attended an excellent wake and send-off for Mary at the Maynard arms near Grindleford. There was an enormous number of peoplw there, she had so many friends. There were euelogies read by her brother Anthony?, cousin Rebecca and our own Grumpy John Jones, and a slide show of many of the events in Mary's life. We were all much impressed and learned a lot about her. Few of us reallised that 90 skydiving jumps were amongst her many achievements.

Well done Mike, a great send off for Mary.

And Mary, thanks for enriching our lives, we won't forget you.

Mouse over or tap to enlarge

1. Anthony, Mary's brother reading the eulogy.
2. So many friends
3. Wind Quartet No Strings Attached.
4. Our own John Jones, wearing one of Mary's Grump of the Year hats reads a eulogy.
5. John Graveling, proud owner of one of Mary's hats.

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March 1st. As you all probably know by now Doug has suffered a cardiac arrest and is currently in intensive care. I know that we all wish him the very best for a speedy recovery.

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Now, some better news after a grim start to the year.

As some of you may know I’m doing London Marathon again this year.
I have decide to raise funds for Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice.
This is a facility that cares for children and young adults with life-shortening and life- threatening conditions. It costs nearly £5 million each year to keep the hospice open and running. The vast majority of this money comes from donations and sponsorship as the government gives very little towards the running costs.
If you wish to make a donation visit virginmoneygiving.com and enter Bill Phillips on the link or you can give me a cash donation and I’ll record  it on an official sponsorship form.
In either case please tick the gift aid box as this ensures Bluebell Wood receives an extra 25p per pound donated.
Thanks

Bill Phillips

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Don't go walking with Chris Jackson. No.3 in a series.

Here's something to make you titter.

Last Sunday I went for a walk. I was on my own as Sue was attending a weekend art course down in Thorpe, but that's OK, I'm fairly happy with my own company. I started from Calver, trekked over the East end of Longstone Moor and arrived, fortuitivly at the Crispin Inn in Great Longstone where I chose to help the local comunity by ordering a pint of Dizzy Blonde and a toasted cheese sandwich. All seemed well with the world as I sauntered up various path leading to the ancient tumulous on the West end of the moor. My route continued along the deserted moor until I joined a small road via a STILE.

It was a conventional stile, as stiles go, a plank of wood poking through a fence which was decorated with broad wire netting. I stepped over and strode on confidently only to find myself hurtling head first into a rushy ditch. Nothing broken but my boot was firmly lodged through the mesh of the netting, furthermore, the wire had neatly engaged itself with the hooks on my boot and stubbenly refused to disengage

I hung there for a while, contemplating the meaning of life and also contemplating only being found a week later nibbled by weasels, by a gang of elderly lady walkers. Hung by my boot I was unable to reach it and unlace it, but angstrom by angstrom I managed to shuffle towards the fence and at great risk to my ankle managed to push the boot back through the fence wire and disengage it.

Near-death experience. Beware lonely places with stiles.

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Some more bad news I'm afraid. Geoff Douglas died on March 4th in intensive the care unit at the Royal Hallamshire hospital after a suffering a cardiac arrest.
Sue has asked me (John Graveling) to let you know that Doug’s funeral is now scheduled for 12.30 on Friday March 27th at Hutcliffe Wood crematorium followed by an adjournment to a room at the nearby Beauchief Golf Club for refreshments and the chance to reflect on and celebrate Doug’s life.
If you could put this date in your diary, more information will follow in due course. If you are able to attend, could you please let Sue know as numbers will be needed for the Beauchief.
In terms of climbing-related  reminiscences, Sue is hoping to put together a  collection of anecdotes and tales from Doug’s very significant climbing history  and will be approaching longstanding climbing partners from the past such as Ralph Fawcett and Richard McHardy.
In addition, we are hoping to  assemble some stories of Doug’s later climbing years and participation as a Grumpy.  So, if you have any tales of your own in either area to impart, then please let us know.
Update.
Corvid-19 isolation. As I'm sure that you all know Doug's cremation service is now only for family andf close friends. The commemorative celebration a Beauchief has also been cancelled and Sue hopes to organise something later in the year.
Mouse over or tap to enlarge

On a lighter note.

So, where has your venerable webmaster been over the past week? Well, we managed a week in Llanberis before the stringent Covid-19 regulations kicked in and before the campsite closed and kicked us all out. Monday the weather was mixed, Tuesday night the rain was torrential but from then on the sun shone on the righteous (and us).

1. Penrhyn Castle
2. Inside Plas Newydd
3. Reflection of Rex Whistlers giant mural, Plas Newydd
4. Nearing the summit of Moel Ellio
5. Remains of LLanddwyn Chapel dedicated to St Dwynwen patron saint of Lovers.
6. Maltraeth sands and The Rivals.

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All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.

Julian of Norwich Who Dat?

A definite maybe

Chris of Netheredge

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Click to enter Grumpy Old Men's Desert Island Climbs

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From Sue Douglas.

Dear Grumpies, partners and friends

I am writing to let you know that we have set up a Memorial site to remember Doug and to celebrate his life.

The link is 

https://geoffdouglas.muchloved.com/

To support Parkinson's UK, after you click the link to the Home page, to the right is a box with the words Donate and you click this to then be able to donate on line . Here is a screen shot

 

As I am aware that so many of your were wishing to attend Doug’s funeral and event afterwards,  the ‘Home’ page includes the details of his funeral on 27th March.

We had a sound recording made of the service, which you will find if you scroll down to the bottom of the ‘Home’ page, under the heading ‘Music’.

Howard Lancashire spoke on behalf of many of you at the funeral and you can hear his tribute which starts at: 7.32 minutes.

If you would like a copy of the recording to keep please contact Tom, email: tom123p@hotmail.com

There are some lovely photos of Doug and happy climbing trips on the site – please look under the ‘Galleries’ heading and also read some great tributes from friends, under ‘Read Stories’.

Please take time this Easter weekend to look at the site and remember Doug. Feel free to add your own thoughts, photos or music – you can do this if you click ‘Contributions’.

We are raising funds for Parkinson’s UK if you wish to make a donation in Doug’s memory.Your kind cards, phone calls and messages of sympathy have been a great support to me over recent weeks and I hope you will forgive me for not thanking you all individually.

When the Covid-19 virus epidemic is under control and we can return to normal, we will be arranging a fitting memorial for Doug with time to joke, laugh and share happy stories.

If you have any queries about the Memorial site, please contact Tom or myself.

Please forward this email with the link to the memorial site, to other friends who knew Doug over the years.

I wish you a peaceful Easter and sincerely hope you all keep well and safe.

With kind regards

Sue Douglas, Tom Parry and family

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Spot The Intro

How many of you remember John Dunn on Radio 2? Well, he was a music show presenter back in the 70s' and I remember him as Sue and I always had his show on the radio whilst driving home from work. One of the highlights was his Spot The Intro where listeners had to ring in to identify an intro.

So here we are with an action replay from my extensive audio library.

Now it may be possible to CHEAT as there are apps out there which can id tunes and it may be possible to interrogate the source files that I have used. I know that none of you would stoop to such depths with the odd exception.

There may be prizes.

Best Bets.

Knows them all - Steve Cunnington (where are you?)

Most likely to cheat - Dick Turnbull

Most likely to totally ignore the competition - John Myers.

Batch 3

Answers to Batch 3.

1. Weather With You, Crowded House, 1991
2. Do It Again, Steely Dan, 1972
3. Little Runaway, Del Shannon, 1961
4. Between the Wars, Billy Bragg, 1985
5. Breakfast at Tiffany's, Deep Blue Something, 1995
6. One Tree Hill, U2, 1988
7. Don't Look Back, Oasis, 1995
8. Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd, 1979
9. City of New Orleans, Willie Nelson, 1982
10. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, The Flaming Lips, 2002
11. Wake Up Little Suzy, Everly Brothers, 1957
12. Never Die Young, James Taylor, 1988

The prize winner for Batch 3 of a highly collectable antiquarian climbing guide, FRCC Scafell 1924 is Darrell and Amanda with a score of 9/12.

Stats for batches 1 and 2:

• Darrell and Amanda: 8/10, 9/10
• John Jones and Elaine and offspring: 4/10, 5/10
• Tony Mays: -/-, 9/10
• John and Cath Graveling: 1/10, 4/10
• Eric Simpson: -/-, 4/10
• Mike Waters: 1/10, 5/10
• Mike Browell: 2/10, 6/10
• Adey Hubbard: 1/10, -/-

Mail your answers to Chris Jackson at: email

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Prepare yourselves for sweaty palms.

A Winter Descent – Croz Spur

By Dick Turnbull

Somehow, unnoticed, the storm had been slowly and stealthily coalescing about us for the last 4 hours. I was wearing a fleece balaclava with a small (and annoying!) peak visor lined on the underside with blue fabric. This may sound irrelevant but every time I looked up - the sky looked blue. So it was ‘ yeah, everything’s fine - get on with it!’ Then Frank asked what I thought of the gathering weather. Suddenly a violent gust of wind whipped the snow around us and I looked up with a start at the reality of the wild weather around me. There was no blue sky and there was no mountain either as sudden squalls of snow heralded the onset of a full-blown storm wildly surging around us. It was late in the February day and we were tired and ready for the relative warmth and rest of our third bivi so it took all of two seconds for the decision to be taken and Frank and I were vainly casting around for somewhere to scrape clean and perch on.

It was day three on the Croz Spur and we were two short pitches from the top. We had had great conditions with dry rock, good ice and absolutely brilliant modern mixed climbing in the solitude of a great alpine face in winter and we were happy with the route being so nearly in the bag. The stealthy arrival of this unheralded storm shocked us and the totally unsuitable nature of our surroundings for bivvi-ing un-nerved us as we settled down on two pathetic lumps of shifting rubble for what was going to be a long, cold and sleepless night. This was Frank’s first big alpine route in winter and his sleeping bag was not really up to it. I had a specially made Goretex covered Mountain Equipment bag complete with bivi hood which allowed me to retreat from the now howling night. The fact that I slept fitfully in between sliding from my perch was testament firstly to my exhaustion and secondly to Mountain Equipment. Frank was not so lucky as his pit was wet and flat inside his bivi bag. When eventually the morning came with the storm still rampaging around us it was obvious after a brief attempt to climb the remaining two pitches to the summit that Frank was not really up to another night out. It had to be down! I was terrified of the thought of 4,000ft of abseiling but even more scared of another night out at high altitude with an already shivering Frank. The final decision maker was the now lethal state of the notorious descent from the Grandes Jorasses with up to two feet of new snow ready to sweep the unwary into the Val Ferret.

We packed up – stuffing wet bags straight into our packs. No brew was possible in the wind and anyway the urgency of our position forced us to get on with it. With the first anchor set up and the rope thrown hard downwards into the blast, Frank’s chilled fingers promptly dropped his belay brake! Shit! One second of fumbling and he was consigned to a long nightmare of precarious descending on a carabiner brake. I shouted the question to Frank ‘Have you ever used a carabiner brake?’ ‘A what?’ was his reply! As I had used one before I passed him my brake only for me to watch horrified as he took the brake, juggled with it like he had the eponymous hot potato in his hands, and then clutch vainly as it spun out of reach and joined his other brake somewhere 4,000ft below.

We would have stood together in stunned silence if the wind had allowed us to. No time for recriminations as I switched straight into instructor mode and showed Frank how to fit the carabiner brake puzzle around the rope before he set of into the swirling snow. This was to be the first of 27 long and desperately anxious abseils. The wind took exception to our efforts, clawing at the ropes as if trying to rip them away and wrap them round the smallest spike. It was imperative that we waited for any lulls in the roaring blast before we either hurled the writhing snakes down into the swirling mist or dragged them down praying for their safe delivery at our feet. The ropes themselves behaved impeccably! They were new Everdry Edelrid’s and repayed their investment handsomely as they stayed supple and compliant throughout the descent unlike every account of climbers fighting icy hawsers in the tales from the Golden Age of mountaineering!

Things were going fine. Our heart rates had stabilised with periodic spikes of high anxiety when the ropes had to be pulled. We were getting through our rack, mainly nuts and slings with the expensive Friends being kept to the last! The further down we went, the quieter it became – spookily quiet - with a new noise now - the insidious slithering hissing of rivers of spindrift. Frank had mastered the complexities of the treacherous carabiner brake and we began to think that we were going to get away with it. After 24 abseils were were back in the steep groove/corner where the initial couloir steepens and runs up into the Croz Spur proper. Here it was like a waterfall with the entire spur venting spindrift into a chaotic, atmospheric plunge pool. The ropes ended halfway down this cascade and all we had to belay on was a single peg and nut in the same crack. With two of us hooked up to this belay-cum-anchor half suffocated and blinded by chilling spindrift, our growing composure evaporated. It made being in Point Five Gully on the Ben in a storm seem like an idyllic memory! The only relief was the pulsing nature of this icy torrent. Every two minutes we would get a 30 second pause were visibility returned and you could breathe normally and shake the massive piles of spindrift from your back, arms and shoulders. We pulled the ropes and they came – reluctantly, slowly but they ran – one rope down then the other coming and then – stop. No movement- panic started to swell – both of us now hauling on the recalcitrant rope – nothing, it was stuck.

So, this was our payment for a smooth ride so far, was it! Paranoia surged through us as we half drowned in the inexorable stream and verged on panic. I shouted to Frank – he no more than 2 feet away – that we should somehow toss for who would go back up the rope as it was too dangerous to volunteer for. We had a knife but it was deep in a pack and there was no way we could get it out without risking loosing a pack and sleeping bags etc. Frank immediately shouted that he would go back up. ‘No you can’t’ I shouted ‘it is has to be fair.’ ‘No, I’ll go’ he shouted again – so, like the cynic I am, I let him go! With a loose bight hastily clipped to his waist Frank waited for a lull and began hooking his way desperately up the steep mixed corner, Scottish 5/6 on the way up in good weather. Inevitably he couldn’t make it time before the next onslaught and immediately he disappeared into the raging maelstrom pouring down the whole mountainside. All we could do was get your head down, squeeze into the groove, fight for breath and hang on. Frank was trying to climb safely putting in runners etc but repeated waves of spindrift proved too much for this responsible approach and somewhere over the roar of the avalanches I heard ‘**** it! I’m going for it up the rope!’

Suddenly the rope ran out fast. The next pause in the spindrift saw Frank up at the top of the groove 50ft out from his last runner making steep moves pulling on the rope into a small alcove where the angle dropped back. He just made it as the next express train roared by and in the following pause he released the jammed rope and cowered back into his recess and managed to fix a proper anchor that would keep the rope free from hazards. Instantly he was coming down rapidly passing me and swooping away into the gathering gloom. Then an age later the rope went slack and I was quickly sliding down out of the tumult and onto the long steep snow/ice slope at the start of the climb.

The surge of relief on getting out of the heart of the maelstrom was quickly tempered by the realisation that we had 3-400ft of steep snow/ice to descend, find our skis, ski down through 2ft of new snow, not fall into the myriad of crevasses and then find (and reach!) the hut – all in the gathering dark. Suddenly we stumbled onto a brand new fixed rope stretching off into the gloom. Where it had come from we had no idea but we grabbed this 7mm washing line lifeline and shot off into the unknown, skipping over a nicely full bergschrund and landing head first in the morass of soft snow at the bottom. Miraculously our upright skis loomed up in our head torch beams and we plunged off down through thigh deep snow. So desperate were we that we kept our skins on our skis rather than lose control and career off into one of the now treacherously covered slots that were all around us. After struggling to slide/walk down we eventually emerged onto the flat and weirdly came across recent tracks stretching away into the now quiet night. More ominously these tracks were haphazardly punctuated by man-sized black holes! Soon the unfortunate creators of this trail of tears appeared in our torch beams. Marek and Barek, young Polish lads, had come up the Spur behind us and had retreated before us leaving the mysterious 7mm washing line over the bergschrund. Their eyes were staring out of ice-encrusted balaclavas full of fear and now relief that someone else was around to help them through (and out of!) the crevasses. So far they had gone into half a dozen slots up to their waists with their legs kicking, which we had avoided by being on skis.

‘Stay with us, Stay with us’ they pleaded, so we did until we judged ourselves out of the main crevasse zone, when the slowness of our progress and the growing awareness of how cold Frank was forced us to push on to try and find the hut as quickly as possible. Somehow we did manage not only find the hut but also to reach it up the now worryingly full slopes that lead up to the Leschaux . Once there we managed to dig out the door with manic energy and stumble in accompanied by drifts of accumulated spindrift. Safe and alive at last.

Postscript:

Marek and Barek eventually turned up 3 hours later to find us under mounds of blankets.

The next day dawned fine except there was no Croz Spur on view as the remnants of the storm lingered on. At 9am we heard a chopper racing up the Leschaux glacier. The small red rescue helicopter zoomed past below the hut and straight for the Croz. We watched it begin to work the spur, zigzagging up the buttress occasionally disappearing into the cloud. It took us awhile to click to the fact that it was looking for us but then we were away and down the slope running to be visible on the glacier. It took ¾ of an hour for the chopper to go up the Spur, over the back into Italy and return carefully down the Spur and back down the glacier towards us. We were visible; we were jumping up and down! The chopper screamed to a halt hovering 30 yards away while megaphone appeared out of the window and boomed at us – ‘Monsieur Turnboulle?’ What service! We nodded inanely; they shouted ‘OK,’ waggled their tail and shot off for coffee and croissants in the valley while we just had the long cold trudge back to normality.

For the record it was Andy Cave that picked up the gear bonanza from our descent on an early summer ascent. He reckoned it was a good enough haul for a full day out on Cloggy!

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VE Day Recollections from Dave Cobley

After seeing the V E Day memorial celebrations and during the watching of the TV film of Winston Churchill's resistance to the German advance through Western Europe and finally the build up to Dunkerque.

The images brought back some vivid memories during my early years as a little boy. Such as hearing the air raid sirens, walking down a pitch black street with no lights, they were banned, and if you had a masked torch light the ARP warden would come out of the shadows and ask you to turn it off. This would be when we were on the way to and going down into my aunty's air raid shelter which was in her garden, together with my mother, grandparents, aunties, spending the night there listening to an odd distant bang until the all clear sounded.

Walking to fetch coal with an old pram which was filled up by hand and pushing it back home.

Shopping with my mother with her ration book which gave access to some meager supplies of which 98% was used.

Standing in the dark looking at a yellow skyline which was distant Coventry in flames 20 miles away.

Going with my mother, I didn't know why, to the Town Hall Square in Leicester for the surrender celebrations.

And finally an elaborate bunting decorated street party with tables down the length of the street filled with accumulated ration book sandwiches and all the kids of the street who were mates running round.

Towards the end of the war being on a train, looking out of the window where the sky was filled with what looked like hundreds of possible Lancaster Bombers presumably on their way to Germany.

So. Am I the only Grump to have gone through the war or does some one else sneak in and remember things before the end ?

Sheffield has a high number of infected people, so more than ever.

Stay Safe

Dave

Chris Jackson writes.

Thanks Dave. Despite rumours to the contrary, I was only 3 1/2 on VE day so my memories are vague/imaginary to say the least but it is interesting to hear your recollections. I may remember being carried out to the Anderson shelter in our garden and I certainly remember ration books though of course they didn't progressively abandon these until the 1950s'.

Chris

July 15th. Lockdown Blues.

So, Lockdown drags on in its diluted form but still a pain. What have you all been up to? The Grumpies page has become rather quiet over the past month. Have you all taken to your beds? We've been avoiding pubs and restaurants which rather goes against the grain, and doing lots of walking and tackling Mike Browell's fiendish Geocross's with mixed success. Here are a few pictures from our activities over the past 6 weeks or so.

1-7

8-14

15-17

1. Confused on Houndkirk moor. Geocross 4.
2. Benchmark stone and Sue, Houndkirk moor. Geocross 4.
3. Sister Suzy's sewing socks for sailers? Not exactly, Wife Sue is sewing face coverings.
4. Painted rock snake, Bonsall.
5. Rocking stone? I don't think so. Near the Surprise. Geocross 9.
6. Hogweed, near Alsonfield.
7. Cup and Ring marks, near Gardoms. Geocross 6
8. Sue and an enigmatic milestone, Big Moor geocross 7.
9. Grouse trough 1, near Redmires. Geocross 13.
10. Sue and The Spectacle Stone, Geocross 13.
11. Helicopter rescue on Stanage.
12. The beast from the undergrowth, Sue in Monksdale.
13. Woolly Thistle bud.
14. Kestrel, probaly a male, Longstone Edge.
15. Ringlet butterfly on Ragwort
16. Wild pansies, Longstone Edge.
17. Dark Green Fritillary butterfly on a Marsh Orchid.

Eric and Helen have been out climbing.

Hope you are all keeping well despite everything.

I thought you might like some pictures of “Happy” Grumpy climbers. Helen and I took these photos after we had climbed on Crow Chin for the first time since lockdown. Only six routes on a top-rope but it felt oh so good…

 Let’s hope this was the start of our climbing renaissance!

Sunday 19th July. Sue and I were out on one of our walks which started near the Square and Compass at Darley Dale and wandered by paths various up Two Dales and over th gritstone uplands. On our way through Shooters Lea Farm we came under sustained duck attack.

I ran off leaving Sue to defend our dignity in a valiant rearguard action which resulted in several grievous duck nips.

September, and all is quiet on the Grumpies site. Where are you all? I trust that you have not locked yourselves into a darkened broom cupboard in an attempt to defend yourselves from those wicked viruses.

A few of us have been going to Awesome Walls which has been eerily quiet, sometimes with only 10 or so climbers in action. There are lots of safety regulations and recommendations down there so hopefull there have been no problems. The consequence of Boris's 'rule of 6' is yet to be revealed. We fear the worst.

So, in between walling and walking Sue and I have been trying out some of Mike Browell's Geocross challenges. There are 27 in all (so far), I think that we have completed about 10. Here are a few pictures from a few of them.

 

So how does it all work?

First you download a pdf file from Mike Browell. This will give you a list of grid references and lots more info.

Download the app What3Words into your phone. I expect that most of you will have this, essential info for the rescue services.

Visit each GR using a GPS or similar and using W3W find the words.

Enter the words into the crossword.

What, no prizes?

Above, a few pics from our recent expeditions. The last one shows the Eyam Moor stone circle using Google Earth. It was buried in the heather and barely discernable at ground level.

1. Typical crossword
2. W3W
3. You must be joking, Houndkirk moor
4. Rocking stone. Padly moor
5. Cup and ring marks, Near Gardom's Edge
6. Spectacle rock, Stanage
7. Neolithic Swine Sty, Big Moor
8. Eyam moor barrow
9. Squeeze stile, Eyam moor
10. Cork Stone, Stanton moor
11. Chair Stone, Stanton moor
12. In the middle of a moor stone, Big moor
13. Almost hidden grouse trough No. 1, near Hallam moor
14. Eyam moor stone circle on Google Earth.

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Introduction to Peak District Geocrosses by Mike Browell.

During Covid 19 lockdown I started to explore the local moors in more detail than on my previous runs. By walking more slowly and stopping to photograph features, I was able to see more historical detail and spot similarities and differences between different moorlands.

The short routes I mapped are linked together as a series of walks, between 4 – 9 miles, and each has a number of locations to visit. Each location has a grid reference and a one word clue. The one word clue is the first word of a ‘What3Words’ grid square reference. This is a unique 3 x 3 metre square defined by three words. By visiting all the locations and finding all the words, you can, if you wish, fill in a crossword grid which I provide. But that doesn’t matter. Just go out and have a look. I’m sure you will find something new.

This is a ‘no-contact’ method of Geocaching. No grubby tupperware boxes littering the countryside.

There are now 31 Peak District Geocross routes. I know that some Grumpies have risen to the challenge and are working their way through the delights of Geocross exploration. To tempt others to give it a try I am issuing a selection of interesting photographs of each of the Geocrosses. If, after looking at the pictures, you realise that I am showing you something you didn’t know about, please visit my Peak District Geocross website, download the pdf files and get out there and explore.

You can print the pdf files out on paper or for the more dexterous and tech-savvy just open the file on your mobile phone.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1B-TAvNJ7YSzyTILcUCk8d3ayGCk1aWAg

1. Burbage South Geocross V1. Round Trough
2. Burbage South Geocross V1. Cannon Slab
3. Burbage South Geocross V1. Ponslow Cross Remains
4. Burbage South Geocross V1. Rectangular Trough Disaster
5. Burbage South Geocross V2. Higgar Lodge Gate Post
6. Burbage West Geocross V3. Winyards Nick Holloway
7. Houndkirk Moor Geocross V4. Buried Boomerang

1. Houndkirk Moor Geocross V4. Benchmark
2. Houndkirk East Geocross V5. Houndkirk Angel
3. Houndkirk East Geocross V5. Mudge's Station Benchmark
4. Gardom's Geocross V6. Gardom Standing Stone
5. Gardom's Geocross V6. Cup and Ring Marked Carved Stone.
6. Big Moor East Geocross V7. Barbrook stone signpost with bullet holes
7. Big Moor East Geocross V7. Robin Hood's Table

1. Big Moor North Geocross V8. Lady Cross ion Kit Form, Vandelised
2. Big Moor North Geocross V8. White Edge Summit Shelter
3. Laurencefield Geocross V9. Rocking Stone placed by man.
4. Laurencefield Geocross V9. Stone Circle, Centre Only
5. Stanage South Geocross V10. Boulder Placed on Cattis-sidfe Moor Summit
6. Stanage South Geocross V10. Sone Trough Carved in-situ

1. Chatsworth Moor Geocross V22. Emperor Fountain Supply Pipe
2. Chatsworth Moor Geocross V22. Emperor Fountain Moorland Stream
3. Chatsworth Moor Geocross V22. Umberlay Well conduit Overspill Weir
4. Chatsworth Moor Geocross V22. Great Greenhouse Chimney.

There will be another set for your delictation in a couple of weeks.

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Apologies.

Sorry about the confusion regarding an on-line GOTY. As Gerry pointed out, there could be unintended consequences so the idea has been shelved.

Don't shoot me, I'm only the messenger.

October 29th. From Tony Mays

In The Presence of Greatness.

On our recent trip to Kalymnos, Mike & I were climbing at Arginonta Valley where we met Claude Idoux who was re-equipping the badly worn lower-offs of some of his routes and who gave us lots of info about new crags he & Aris had developed just south of Athens.

Later we got chatting with a climbing couple, Ralf & Nancy, he from Germany, she from Canada. At the top of a route adjacent to the one (6a+) Mike was climbing, Nancy called down to Ralf to send up a camera with which the attached pictures were taken. The ease and the familiarity with which they managed this manoeuvre suggested experienced hands at work. You will notice Nancy managed to get a rare smile (or is it a grimace?) out of Mike.

We got on so well on the crag that we arranged to meet the following night, with Marjorie, at the Aegean restaurant. As you will all know, Mike sees anyone’s account of what they have climbed as a launch pad to tell his own tales.

“So what have you done in the Himalayas, Ralf?” was Mike’s opening gambit.

Ralf’s supremely understated response was: “To cut a long story short, Mike, I’ve climbed all fourteen 8000 metre peaks.”

For once – shock, horror! - Mike Mortimer was lost for words. We were in the presence of greatness, Ralf Dujmovits, the first German to climb all 8000 metre peaks, as well having completed the Seven Summits, which involves climbing the highest mountains on each continent.

Ralf told us that, having climbed thirteen peaks without oxygen, his attempt to climb Everest without oxygen was thwarted by the infamous “conga queue”. Deciding it would be unwise, not to say unpleasant, to continue, Ralf turned back but not before taking the, dare I say, iconic photograph, which “went viral”, and which Ralf said has funded five subsequent expeditions. See photo.

His wife, Nancy Hansen is no mean adventurer either and was for a time executive director of BANFF. Over dinner Nancy and Marjorie shared stories of ice climbing in Canada.

A “power couple” in the nicest possible way.

Subsequently Mike & I spent a day at Lamda on Telendos with Ralf and Nancy, (photos on boat there & back & of Nancy).

After I came home, Mike & Marjorie took the short boat ride with them from Vathy to the new crag Little Eden for a day’s climbing.

PS When we mentioned the name Alan Hinkes, Ralf produced a very knowing wink!

1-5

1. The Everest Conga
2. In the Aegean
3. Nancy
4. On the boat to Telendos
5. On the boat from Telendos

1-3

1. Mike on Telendos - 1
2. Mike on Telendos - 2
3. Mike on Telendos - 3

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December. Whale meat again. Dave Clay and The Whale

Just over two years ago a neighbour collared me on the way to the pub quiz. ‘I’ve got something for you, but you’ll have to go and get it.

He’d been walking in the Outer Hebrides and on S.Uist had seen bones sticking out of the sand and reckoned it was a small whale.

The following afternoon, I set off in my £150 Golf, armed with spade, shovel and lots of plastic bags, a call earlier had enlisted the help of a Glaswegian friend who was travelling around living in his van. We met up in Pitlochry in time for a triple round at last orders before putting up for the night.

Up late and onto Skye, the delayed ferry from Uist on Skye to Lochmaddy on N. Uist dropped us off as the light faded. Parking on a track a few miles out of town, in filthy weather, we struggled to put up tents in a storm of midges.

A better day in the morning and we headed south west across the causeways linking N. Uist, Benbecula and S.Uist.

Unusually, I’d actually looked at the map that I’d borrowed, puzzling over all those squiggly lines we parked the car on a dead end road and headed over the headland to the small beach.

It didn’t take long to find the site, a few bones were littered around and a few protruded fro the sand. We went back for the tents, shovels and beer, we looked around put the tents up and had a few beers and started digging. Pat didn’t last long, it was gruesome. The bones near the surface were relatively clean but those lower down, fetid with rotting muscle and blubber. The shovel was useful to scrape off some of this as I laid out the bones on the sand. The following day was lovely weather wise but the stentch from the beach was horrible. The hole got bigger and bigger, Pat sat, watching from a small knoll. Everything seemed scattered and the hole became deeper and wider to search for the pieces missing from the laid out form.

A 4.6m Long Finned Pilot Whale.

In the deepest parts the sand was, here and there, turning into a puddling mess of organic gue. The old shepherd, walking his dogs came by again and this time we spoke, he seemed quite cautious at first but opened up a bit when he decided we were harmless. He told us that he’d seen the stranded pilot whale two years ealier, when it first beached, barely alive. It had been washed out by a high tide weeks later and eventually back onto the beach, it was him who had tried to bury it to reduce the smell.

We knocked off for beers and a pub meal in the Politician, named after the ship, wrecked nearby carrying Whiskey Galore.

Fortyfive vertebrae, the skull and jaw, most of the ribs and most of the right pelvic girdle, I knew I was missing some bones. Three trips ove the headland with bones, triple bagged. The rotting skull still had a lot of tissue in and on it, too heavy to carry, using the shovel as a sled made it possible to drag it round the headland at low tide.

Somehow it all fitted into the Golf.

Another night on the beer in Pitlochry and I said bye to Pat and set off for Sheffield, windows down all the way.

Couldn’t leave the bags in the garden, stashed them in the bracken off Sheephill Rd while I searched for a place to bury them. Not easy to find somewhere close to the road, easy to dig, away from people. Eventually, I gave up and dug a massive pit under the compost heap in our garden.

My daughter wasn’t happy with the odour in the car, even weeks after the bags had been removed.

The remains were left in the ground for two years to fully decompose, the first Covid lockdown saw me laid off from my zero hours at the college and gave me time to assemble the skeleton.

The teeth were misssing as were many of the smaller bones so it took time to fashion artificial ones and slowly piece the skeleton together using stainless steel rebar and wire.

To assemble the spine in a way that I could flex, I drilled two parralel holes in each of the 45 vertebra and inserted two 6m lengths of stainless steel rebar. Amazing what you can get delivered in Sheffield during lockdown.

The spine was then suspended between tripods from a scaffolding pole. This enabled me to work at attaching the ribs and skull.

The 40 teeth were missing, these were fashioned from ‘Fimo’, after sealing with varnish, I drilled a hole in each and glued in a brass panel pin to use as an implant.

Gradually, the whole thing started to take shape. Many of the small bones were missing, I only had a single bone of the left pectoral girdle and ended up making 56 bones using £60 worth of wood filler and a box of fibre glass.

A random chat with a neighbour who works as a BBC camera man, about Covid and what we were doing during lockdown, I showed him the assembled whale and a few days later had a call from Look North who wanted to come and filming a piece in the garden.

During the assembly a thought kept running through my mind, that it would look fabulous suspended above the Don.

I had been spending a lot of time on my own!

The thought wouldn’t go away and over the weeks that I spent on the assembly I kept picturing it floating above the river.

Numerous trips to look for suitable sites with tape measure and weighted rope to measure depth and I chose Blonk St bridge. It wasn’t the easiest, access was difficult, a 3m drop below footpath level and the water was deep under the bridge.

How to get it there? I priced up van hire but eventually paid a neighbour £50 to drive us, the spine and ribcage strapped to a ladder on the roof, with the skull and pectoral girdles inside.

A small army of friends helped with, what was a complicated set up. The ladder, spine and ribs had to be got down to the bank and then attached to the beam between the tripods, before the head and fins could be attached.

It went well apart from Brian chipping a tooth and Pod got some good shots inbetween fishing.

The end result was fabulous. It was a quiet Sunday but people walking the 5 Weir Walk loved it. I went to bed with a smile on my face.

That was in July, later I decided to do a few more installations before giving the skeleton to Weston Park museum.

So, on a Sunday morning, I managed to borrow the neighbour’s van and loaded the whale spine and ribs onto the roof.

A quiet spot in Endcliffe Park, the grassy field behind the duckpond was good, not so many people walk that way, didn’t want to attract a crowd during the pandemic. This was fairly easy to set up with the help of two friends.

That was a fun day, nice comments from passers-by and pretty easy to set up.

Stanage was going to be much harder and need a fairly big, socially distanced team.

The museum was wanting the whale and keen to have it the following day, I was keen to do two more installations before handing it over.

So the next morning it was in Meersbrook Park overlooking the city…

… and in the afternoon we were in Weston Park with his final resting place in the background.

A massive thank you to everyone who made it happen and helped with the set-ups!

It was, of course, all bonkers, but hopefully fun and maybe even provoking.

...Merry Xmas!

Dave

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In dire times of Lockdown and Tiers, the pictorial Quiz will be online. Email your answers.

The Grumpies Great Pictorial Christmas Quiz 2020.

Click on any thumbnail to enlarge.

1-7

1. Name these rocks Ox Stones
2. Name this stone. The Head Stone
3. Scotland, but where are we? Skye 1, Trotternish 1.5, Quirang 2. (Either or, but not and)
4. Name this enchanted castle. Dolbadarn, Llanberis pass, huge enlargement taken from the slate quarries.
5. Name this sea stack. Old Man of Stoer Sutherland
6. Name this waterfall. High Force
7. Where are those rocks? Froggatt Edge

8-14

• 8. Name this extinct stripey animal (not Sue). Thylacine
• 9. Name these stacks. Bedruthan Steps
• 10. Where is this rocking stone? Laurencefield Moor
• 11. What is this climb?. Old Man of Hoy, original route.
• 12. Where is Sue? Name the hill. Rushup Edge (study the background)
• 13. Name this popular Lake District mountain. Cat Bells
• 14. Name this village. Grange Borrowdale

15-20

• 15. Name this premiere crag. Dalton or Darlton Quarry
• 16. Name this Peak District mine. Magpie
• 17. What is this group of hills? The Red Coullin
• 18. Name the pub. The Anglers Rest (Millers Dale)
• 19. Name the rocks. The Crow Stones
• 20. Name this famous village. Tobermory

Expect a prestigious prize for the winner. In the event of a tie, I will think of something!

Covid-19 has scuppered the usual prize bottle of 1982 Chateau Lafite Pauillac Premier Cru, instead it will be a £5 Sainsbury's voucher. Sorry about that. We had to drink the wine as the bottle wouldn't fit in an envelope.

T&Cs The answers will be revealed on the afternoon of Chrismas Eve, 24th Dec. And just remember this, A kiss is just a kiss, A sigh is just a sigh, and the Quizmasters is always right even when he's wrong. Spelling may be important.

The Scores, out of a maximum of 21.

• Darrell and Amanda 7
• Adey Hubbard 17
• Dave Lockwood 20
• Mike Browell 15
• John and Cath Graveling 9
• Dick Turnbull 18
• Nick Longland 10
• Bill Phillps 12
• Dave and Linda 9
• Roy and Marilyn 13.5
• Tom Westgate 13.5
• Tony Mays 9

 

 

A few stats for you. Check out the answer histogram above. The most right answer was 20 with 12 correct answers forTobermory where everybody got it right and the lowest scores were Grange-14 and The Crow Stones-19 with two each. The Average score for the 12 entrants was 12.75.

The Winner of the Pictorial Quiz is Dave Lockwood, the prestigious prize of a Sainsbury's Voucher will get to him somehow,

The winner of the Man-Booby prizer for literary excellence is Dick Turnbull with his gripping account of a A Winter Descent of the Croz Spur with Frank the Decorator. The ceremonial tile is currently with Adey Hubbard who has probably cemented it onto his toilet wall.

The Man Booby prize suffered some fierce competition from Dave Clay's Whale and several of the Desert Island Climbs showed strong literary ability. The final and uncontestable decision was however made by the Jackson Steering Committee of 1, so there.

 

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Anyway, quite a few of us met up at Awesome on Monday 21st where Roy was awarded his Grump of the Year T-shirt, the Mary Waters Woolly Hat and the trophy and I took a few photos for the 2021 Grumpies page header. Apologies to those not on the photo montage.

1. Roy on the wall
2. Roy receives his GOTY T-shirt and wears his ceremonial Mary Waters woolly hat.

• So it's come to this, yes it's come to this,
• And wasn't it a long way down,
• Wasn't it a strange way down.

Dress Rehearsal Rag, Leonard Cohen

It will all end in tiers.

Subsumed by a Slough of Despair, Chris Jackson

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Christmas Crack, Stanage, December 25th 2020 by John Graveling.

The observant will have noticed that ths, being Christmas day we are allowed to congregate outdoors in no more than a group of six, or with family members or those in ones bubble. No problem then.

Well, for a change, the weather was good – cold but with a blue sky and weak sunshine and the ground frozen so hard that the trek from car park to crag was over solid not soggy, muddy ground.

Perhaps occasioned by the weather or simply the need to break out after the past months of containment, there was bumper turnout of climbers and hangers-on. The Grumps and partners were well represented with many familiar faces appearing at various times in the course of the morning – to show but a few :-

 

Annie Anthony Mays

Dick in his (usual) directing mode

 

Mike W – before his successful ascent :-

 

As usual, some people really got into the spirit of things :-

The size of the turnout – and the fact that, this year, Gordon hadn’t been up to the crag early to put a “Reserved” sign on the route - meant that Dick and the Grumpy team had quite a wait – though a jovial one – before putting hand to rock. However, once the green light was given, the Grump team caterpillar performed credibly :-

 

Dick belaying, Dave Clay topping out followed by Tony M and Mike W. Please note, Social Distancing being observed!!

 

However, for the numbers on the rope at any one time, our old team couldn’t quite match the youngsters from Awesome Wall (big Dan and Charlotte are part of this group) :-

And, finally, a shot I couldn’t resist…. of Dick keenly pursuing a delightful brown furry creature up the route!! She managed to escape!

So, a most enjoyable start to Christmas Day – the only thing missing being the trip to the Scotsman’s Pack afterwards!

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Not all bad, I suppose. We're still in tier 3 and it's been snowing so we have a white Christmas for a change. Sue and I went out for a walk, Facebookers will have seen these pics.

Rushup Edge and Bradwell moor were the highlighjts I suppose. It was icy, slippery and foggy and The Wanted Inn was closed. Still, we felt quite purged of our excessed whan we got back to the car. 11.7 miles, phew:

1. Sue below Mam Tor
2. Slippery stiles on Rushup Edge
3. Fog crystals
4. More fog crystals
5. Even more fog crystals
6. Guess what.
   

The end of a grim year. We lost two Grumpies and a fair amount of freedom. Next year can only be better, after it gets worse. Do we leave a sinking ship for another one full of holes?

The water it soon came in, it did,
The water it soon came in;
So to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
In a pinky paper all folded neat,
And they fastened it down with a pin.

Those Jumblies knew a thing or two.

Happy New Year to you all.